What a Difference God In A Year Makes

It has been nearly one year since I started this blog.....and wrote the one and only entry. Here I am one year later. Same urging for change. My first thought is, "Another year....same story", but that isn't true. Those are lifelong thoughts that have only served to keep me stuck. MUCH has happened this past year. To ignore that is to miss out on so many things that God has been doing. Am I still fighting some of the same battles? Yes. Would it appear I have even lost ground in some places? Absolutely.  BUT.... things are not the same.

One of the things that must change is the keeping it all pent up inside. I continue to feel the urge to get it out in writing....share and create a record of all that God is doing in and around me. This will be something that I can share with my children.....some words of hard fought and God granted wisdom. Such a stubborn one I am.....slow to learn but oh so grateful to have a Father who abounds in patience, love, and grace. So tonight I got out of bed to begin. To get something down and in the doing to make a step in a new direction. As I lay there thinking I was imagining a tilling of my mind.......a visual picture of the soil of my mind......my thoughts, habits, instincts, understanding...... being churned up and over, up and over, up and over...... making way for a fresh planting from God. It doesn't have to stay the same. It can change. It can be more God-like, God-involved, God-driven. Not only can I think new thoughts (one of the God fruits of this past year), but those thoughts can become action and deed. A new planting, bearing new seed and new fruit. New life. Yes!

The Beginning

Standing behind my daughter at Matt Maher's concert, I was struck with the inspiration (I believe a nudge from God) to begin this leg of my journey, and to record it on this blog. Will anyone else ever see it? No idea. But, it is important, at least to me.

Do something new. Something different. How stuck I have been in the same and it is sucking the life out of me. Refusing God's present to languish in the past, to wishful think about the future, to regret, deny, sulk, fear. It is bearing fruit in my life, as all things do, and it is rotten. It is offensive to all around me, and feeding my family from it is making them sick too. Yes, I could go on like this forever. There is no requirement for me to change....I have proven that to be true. I have to DO the thing. The thing that God puts in front of me. That He requires of me. Asks me to do. The journey I have dreaded taking....I have fought, rationalized away in an endless parade of tomorrows. Lay down the food. It is the beginning of this different. It is the now stepping stone....the what comes first before the next. So much more wrapped up inside of this one action. It will be the unfolding of a hope and a future.